What's good for the Pig
by Rajendora
Summary: A little Saizo short story just for the fun of it. He's been hanging around humans too much!


What's good for the Pig

"Okita, you can't bring a pig into a teahouse." Yamanami protested, seeing the youth at the steps of the room they'd rented.  
  
"Why not? He's clean?" Okita hugged Saizu like a stuffed toy, happy as ever. Saizu squeaked a bit in protest.  
  
Hijikata blew out a thin stream of smoke from where he sat sulking on a zabuton. "Don't be so fussy, Yamanami. What makes us any different from the pig?"  
  
Akesato looked scandalized, already a bit under the influence more then she should be for a professional geisha. "Why is this man so mean?!" She whispered to Yamanami.  
  
Okita slipped off his sandals and steeped up into the room. "Things are too peaceful, so we must come here and make a row." He sat down beside Hijikata-san,  
settling Saizo in his lap.  
  
Hijikata frowned at him and poured him a cup of the rapidly cooling sake. "There. And keep that pig under control."  
  
"Saizo is the perfect pig." Okita assured him. "Aren't you, Saizo?" He patted the pig fondly.  
  
Saizo grunted happily, loving it.  
  
"He's perfectly round!" Akesato giggled.  
  
Hijikata raised an eyebrow at the geisha leaning on Yanamani. Someday that woman would lead to the prissy man's downfall, he could just sense it. It was as if fate saw him coming and put a nice big tripping stone in his path, other wise his life would be  
that dull.  
  
Okita smacked his lacquer ware cup down on the little table now between them.  
  
"Eh, are you out to get drunk?" Hijikata asked him, pouring more.  
  
"Isn't that what drinking's about?" Okita picked it up and drained it. His enthusiastic tipping of the cup lead to a slight dribbled down his chin.  
  
Saizo blinked at the drip that splashed on the middle of his snout, then twitched and licked it off.  
  
Hijikata poured his subordinate another. "It's not to knock yourself out by drowning in it."  
  
Okita laughed and this time sipped politely.  
  
Saizo looked up at the humans making their strange noises and that weird human squealing sound they made when something was exciting them in a good way. What ever that liquid was---it wasn't water. It wasn't tears, as he'd so often had to deal with when his master was sad over something. It wasn't the milk he sometimes was spoiled with for being a pet pig.  
  
It was tasty. It was---he wanted more.  
  
He sniffed around and found the source of the smell. And butted his master's  
arm.  
  
Okita gave a little yelp then laughed and Saizo lapped up as much of the spilt sake as he could get to.  
  
"Oi, watch that pig!" Yamanami said, laughing. "He wants a cup, too!"  
  
"You can't feed a pig sake." Hijikata said sternly.  
  
"I'm sure it wont harm him." Okita said. "He only got a little."  
  
Saizo wanted more then a little, but he didn't know what the human grunting noises were all about anyway. He only understood that "Saizo!" meant good things or bad things depending on the way who and how someone said it.  
  
As the party wore on, the humans got noisier and noisier and Okita got sloppier about his restraint on Saizo.  
  
Seeing the opportunity, the little pig slipped lose and trotted about, nose in the air sniffing for the liquid that tasted so good and made him feel all---well--piggy.  
  
First he kept an eye on Okita's hand with the red cup in it. Twice, he managed to get him to spill more. Then, Okita-kun got wise to him and started shoo-ing him away.  
  
Saizo made the rounds, bumping arms and getting squealed at and pushed away as the humans made merry. But he was a determined little pig, as his brothers and sisters in the pen had found out.  
  
At one point the humans started having a singing contest, and Saizo, by now well past the limits of a piglet, joined in. The humans fell over squealing and  
grunting in glee and more sake was spilt.  
  
Okita decided he was lubricated enough to perform, and grabbing Hijikata's fan along with his, stood up wavering a bit and began pretending to be a dancing girl.  
  
Hijikata looked grim and annoyed and tolerant even despite being totally smashed. Not having to stand up made it much easier to retain his demeanor of being the party pooper. After a while he secretly smiled then relaxed it and hid it quickly.  
  
Okita sang and danced mocking feminine voice and movements, while Akesato corrected him in annoyance at the boy mimicking maiko.  
  
Filled by now with piggy joy and human sake, Saizo watched his master through the now seemingly brighter lights of the lanterns and the uproar around him. Now this was fun. He swayed on his little piggy butt, then got up and took a few steps and fell down on his butt again, rolled a little, then got up and took a few more.  
  
"Mina-sama, look, the pig is drunk!" Yanamani laughed.  
  
"Oh the poor thing, look he can barely walk! Look at him roll!" Akesato laughed behind her sleeve.  
  
Okita fell on his own butt laughing. His fan fell near Saizo's nose.  
  
The little pig snatched up the fan in his mouth and got up, determined to something with it. The sake had hold of him, and he had some very strange ideas. Humans were his clan by now. It was time hanging around them meant trying out their ways.  
  
He took a few steps then, reared up on his legs and fell down again. Then tried it again.  
  
The humans squealed even more and pointed at him.  
  
He reared up again and wavered, the fan in his mouth, and shook it back and forth, then landed on all fours again. He started trotting in circles this way and that, rearing up and then making more circles.  
  
This pretty much slew the drinking party. By now even Hijikata san was laughing from the belly up. Okita was clapping and singing while Saizo did his dance. Everyone was laughing more then they had in quite a while, until the poor little pig passed out cold on the  
tatami, a happy trail of drool from his muzzle on to his master's fan.  
  
The next day the little pig found out what hangovers were, and why Hijikata-san was so grumpy even to Saizo's dear Okita-san.


End file.
